Every one of us deals with loss at some point in our lives; we can't escape it, it's part of our human experience. Often, loss is thought to only be the death of a loved one, but it includes many different types of losses; a decline in health and/or independence, separation and divorce, loss of your dreams and hopes, job and financial loss, as well as adoption, and this just scratches the surface of possible losses that can be suffered. With the definition of loss expanded, everyone fits the criteria of being effected by loss at some point in their life. Just as with the loss of a loved one, all types of losses need to be grieved, and often without a grieving process, these emotions of sadness, frustration, isolation and anger fester, effecting all other parts of our lives. Giving voice to these feelings, and feeling them afresh, is a way to release them, and thus yourself, from the prison of unexpressed grief.
One way of helping to heal the many emotions of loss is to find a way to honour that pain. Through my own grief journey, the loss of my seventeen year-old daughter, I found it helpful to find ways to stay connected to Jess, to honour her through journaling, through artwork and dance (she was an amazing dancer!), all activities that 'fill me up.' These activities help me to put one foot in front of the other, to balance the sadness and lonesomeness I feel in her 'gone-ness' with all the other wonderful things in my life. It takes a lot of time and hard emotional work to come to a place of quiet acceptance where memories have somehow been transformed from aching reminders of their absence into heart-warming, although bittersweet, remembrances. That children's song "...can't go around it, can't go over it, gotta go through it" reminds me that it's 'through' hard grief-work that we heal the scars of grief. You never 'get over' it, you just discover a new normal. I'd be honoured to walk awhile with you on your grief journey.
Check out the 'resources' page for helpful educational literature, websites and activities to help you out in your time of loss. Please contact me with any materials that you have found helpful, helping me to help others.